Monday, February 17, 2014

life is a highway




  Life is one big learning experience. We’ve all had the wonderful opportunity to learn from both good and bad experiences. Ideally, the good experiences would only exist in life but we really wouldn’t learn anything, would we?  We wouldn’t be living if we didn’t make any mistakes. Actually the day that karma stops existing is the day we all squeeze through to heaven and that’s not an easy feat. As my favorite saying goes, “You live and you learn”.
  I remember when I was at the ripe, old age of 18. I got my first job at Burger King. I was so proud of myself, until I realized It was mandatory that I wore a visor to work. On top of that I had to attempt to wear my hair weave up which was annoying because it was glued down to my head and was supposed to STAY down. I was working against my hair and you could tell!!! Oh, how I miss those old fake wearing hair days! I wasn’t a fan of the uniforms either. I am not a fan of uniforms in general. I felt like I was walking around in pants from the 1980’s and of course, the manager sticks me in the front where I suffered from anxiety whenever I saw someone remotely familiar. It was also pretty hot working so close to the fries. Sometimes I’d look like a panda bear by the end of my shift because my makeup was melting. A few weeks in and I devised a plan to leave. I ended up telling the manager I was moving….I just forgot to tell him that I was actually just moving on! I learned that the fast food restaurant wasn’t for me and that they didn’t pay me nearly enough to look like a 1980’s pants wearing, weave exposed, panda bear.
  The next job I found was at a bar. A strip bar. I didn’t plan it. My friend, Tom and I were driving around and I saw a sign that was probably up for years, advertising a waitressing position. I was curious, especially Tom since he was basically a virgin, so we stopped in. I got a job offer on the spot and next thing you know I’m taking my clothes off. What can I say? I was young, wild, and FREE. I thought it was great and it really was until a few years down the road when I started feeling stuck. What the heck happened? Most of my old classmates were graduating college and stabilizing their lives. I guess time flies when you’re having fun. TOO much fun. I started drinking, smoking and just feeling hopeless. I needed a change. I didn’t feel like dancing to the same old tune anymore. So, I hung up my shoes…like two or three times.
  I found another job at a martini bar as a cocktail waitress, while I was working at the dance club. I decided to keep the waitressing job and start a normal life again. The only bad thing about that was the money part. I wasn’t making nearly as much since I only worked weekends, but that was a good thing I guess because it prompted me to go back to school. I found motivation. Where the heck were you a few years ago!!?? Of course, Rome wasn’t built in a day, but I eventually managed to get my cosmetology license after trying a few other options at the local community college. Now I can proudly say, I am successful in a way. Of course, I am still working on myself, so who knows what is in the cards for me now. All I know is I will never look back. I hope to just keep moving forward and be the best I can be and keep learning!

No freedom my friends
No identity
the message that it sends
is obesity
I am a small fry
in this corporation
I'm just a little guy
in this operation
 so lets fire it up
since I'm workin to eat
time to eat it up 
reheat it up
minimum wage 
thats the pay
whats your age?
they won't say nay
a crook, a scam
is that what I am?
its burger king
doin that burger thing



Monday, February 10, 2014

Tom sawyer

I discovered the power of independence and freedom once I had my daughter, Ava Preslie in September of 2013. My life is continually getting better. Of course, the fight for a better life for my daughter and I has not been an easy road. I suffered a great deal since pregnancy and the struggle continues on with ongoing court. What a headache! Why do people always want to beat you down when you finally decide to stand up for yourself?

   The first hearing did not go in my favor. I felt vulnerable after I left the courthouse. My ex made me feel inadequate. He made me feel unloved and unworthy. He made me feel that I was nothing more than a girl who was being paid to watch his child. I lost it. I had no rights. I felt I had nothing at all. I was back at square one after I had regained my confidence from him. I let my emotions get the best of me and it showed once I got the decision in the mail. He was right. He still has the upper hand. The decisions seemed so biased... oh what money can buy...
 
I need to regain my cool. I cannot be so emotional. I have learned that emotion triumphs over truth in court.That doesnt seem right to me, but now I must stay focused on my goal which is to get the best life for Ava possible. I will be investing in a lawyer to represent me in a better light and save me from further stress and headaches. I should start meditating before bed again. It has helped me in the past with clarity. Sometimes I wish I could revert back to childhood when things were so much easier.

  


      
When I was limitless child
My imagination ran wild 
I was a bird, I was a plane
I was far from mundane
I was on the fast lane

On my tricycle, I flew
My tricycle, so shiny, so new
I flew so fast
Never finishing last
Oh how I missed my childhood past

I was anything I wanted to be 
My heart pounding with glee
I was a doctor, a lawyer
a dentist, a big wig employer
I was Tom sawyer...




 


Monday, January 27, 2014

  My name is Gina Vilayphone. I'm 99.9% Laotion and 1% American. I grew up in the furniture capital of New England, Gardner Massachusetts. People refer it to G-Vegas nowadays. I don't really understand the correlation but I'm going to make a very uneducated guess and say it has to do with the hard economic times we are going through. I've been inside a home that bore no signs of love. Empty cabinets, empty fridge, empty stove, empty rooms and empty souls waiting on empty promises. History truly does repeat itself, doesn't it?
  History is one of my favorite subjects. Not just any old history, but My History. Maybe I'm a bit of a narcissist, but is it not true we were born as individuals for that very reason? To make history? To learn from our past and apply it to our future? With that being said, hopefully, I learn from this course the second time around.
  Speaking of mistakes, I finally learned to let go of the things that were holding me back in my life. I feel like a balloon that has been set free to roam the beautiful, blue skies of this earth.. I've re-gained my passion for learning and love in general. I didnt realize how much I enjoyed politics, religion, history, science, and classical music. I truly enjoy my social outings now and my circle of friends is expanding with supportive, inspirational, happy, confident, successful people. All I had to do was LET GO and as simple as it sounds, it was probably the most difficult task I have ever accomplished in my life so far.
  I would say I am a very strong willed, determined young woman because I refuse to give up when I truly believe in something. Of course that would also make me very stubborn. People would descibe me as someone who is trustworthy, caring, and opinionated because I live by the golden rule, I'm passionate, and I like to speak my mind. I am loyal to those who are loyal to me. I'm honest which is why I enjoy studying court cases. I've noticed most lawyers always twist the truth and try to paint people in the worst light. How could someone do that while under oath especially when an individual's life is at stake....Good cop, bad cop is all I have to say. Someone needs to clean up the system and make sure justice is truly served for everyone. Maybe that person will be me someday. Did I mention, I'm incredibly ambitious?
 



                                   
   
  

Wonderful thing unfold before me
W oman
one god
neither here nor there
daring
escape artist
reviewing constantly
full of questions
untamed
looking forward
til the end of days
hell's angel.
 inter dimensional
no expectations
good intentions
 unrelenting
nocturnal
forget me nots
old world traditions
loving
dare devil
 beliefs so faithful
entertained
full of possibility
on going
romance
empire state of mind
mountain high
enlightenment